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Author Topic: Rip It Apart - A HEAVY Critique Game  (Read 2219 times)

Offline Zodiac

Rip It Apart - A HEAVY Critique Game
«: June 17, 2008, 03:27:45 AM»
WARNING: This game will NOT be for people who are sensitive about their artwork, or who cannot take critique with a stride. This game is about public critique, with NO SUCK UPS. If you can't handle someone being picky and pointing out every little flaw they see, then this game will not be for you. There better be NO WHINING AND CRYING ABOUT THINGS PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY IN THIS THREAD - IT WILL BE HARSH.

SECOND WARNING: This thread is for the critique of a persons ARTWORK, not the person themselves. It is entirely possible to have a critique that is harsh and picky, without being flat out insulting. Please, when you are writing a critique, critique the art piece in question, not the artist themself.


What is this game?
We all have old and new finished art lying around. Maybe something you know is terrible, or something you just never felt was quite right and finished. Post it here, and the next person to post will give you a full on critique of your work. THEY HAVE TO LOOK FOR MISTAKES! We all know how hard it can sometimes be to get the truth out of people, so if the truth and honest OPINION is what you seek, then this game is for you.

Tips For Playing
- Claim Your Spot: Before posting a crit and a piece of your own artwork, post something like "I claim this spot", and then go back and edit your post. This helps to prevent double critiques.
- Brush It Off: If you have been critiqued and you just don't agree at all, or you think they were mean, then brush it off. By posting here, you asked for it.
- Double Check: After claiming your spot, always double check that you got the spot you were after, and critique the right artwork. You never know when someone may have swooped in at the same time as you!

RULES - MUST READ
1. This thread WILL NOT be used for any form of personal attacks and vendettas. Please, don't let me catch this happening. Don't ruin it for other people.
2. ALL critique is to be done on the thread, in public. There will be no "PM'd" it, and if I catch you doing this I will ask you to leave.
3. The point of a critique is not to needlessly tear a piece to shreads, it is to pick apart the artwork and look for flaws. It is NOT required that you explain how to fix any flaws you may see, but if you see one then point it out. Just because someone doesn't know how to fix something, does not mean they cannot see that there is a mistake, or simply just something they don't like.
4. You MUST post a piece of your artwork at the END of your critique. ONE PIECE AT A TIME.
5. Obviously, you are not allowed to critique your own artwork.
6. If a piece has already been critiqued, then you may not critique it in the thread.
7. Rules are subject to change.

HOW TO PLAY
1. Claim your spot.
2. Go back - closely review the artwork posted before your post. Study every last detail.
3. Critique! Pick it apart, find things you like, find things you don't like. If you simply CANNOT find something wrong with the artwork, then look again because rest assured NONE of the artwork you see will ever be "perfect" for real, and there will always be something - no matter how miniscile - that could be pointed out. Yes, be picky. The people who play this game WANT you to be.
4. Post a piece of your own artwork.
5. Check back for your crit!
6. Do it all over again!

 
        

Offline Zodiac

Re: Rip It Apart - A HEAVY Critique Game
«Reply #1: June 17, 2008, 03:27:52 AM»
Ok, so here is the first piece of artwork going up for critique. I better get a good one. >:0

This is a piece I worked really hard on, and have always felt was one of my better pieces. But, there are still a lot of things about it that just feel like they could have been done better, and just a sense that the next time I go to do a real CG, I can make it better. So here for your critiquing is my old entry for Quarantine's contest:



Remember, critique the artwork - not the character. Anything and everything!
« Last Edit: June 17, 2008, 03:30:40 AM by Turquoise »

Offline Sync

Re: Rip It Apart - A HEAVY Critique Game
«Reply #2: June 17, 2008, 06:53:13 AM»
the first thing that came up to me on this piece was the character's right hand. as a hand itself it seems too fleshy, needs to look more like it has some structure? i also believe the lighting should have more emphasized on the fingers because right now it's like it was using a technique like this which generally looks pretty mediocre and poorly done. ignoring the coloring, it's a rather unnatural twist(i tried to do it myself, ow)? i don't really know how to put it, other than i think the hand should take a 180 degrees turn to make it look comfortable and not randomly drawn just to show the hand was there.

next is the right shoulder. it's being blocked by both the hair and the face, but it's still in the same light as the other body parts that are completely in light. other than that it's pretty good just sitting there.

i really like how the hair was colored, but it's /really/ confusing the light source. most of the body suggest the light source is from the front, but other places like the hair, tail, and right either are suggesting it's also coming from the top, in which case the pants and inside of the wings(the right wing shouldn't really have any lighting at all, unless the flame thingy on the tail is emitting light) should be in much more shadow than what i can see from the piece.

just being nitpicky here, but shadow should be under the neck rather than how you did it. when i look at human/anthro art, i notice there is nearly always shadow under the neck unless the light is coming from under the character, which was obviously not done here so...
being more nitpicky there shouldn't be any light under the right ear at all. i don't think any light would seep under there.

i like how the feet were done and colored~ except for the right foot. it's contradicting the light source.
though at the bottom of the pants, the left folds look really weird to me. i haven't ever drawn pants like that, so i don't really know how to help you there...

jumping all over the place here. the face looks really good, save for the lip. i personally think it's way too emphasized, but whatever floats your boat. and right side of face should be more in shadow because it's being blocked by hair and more face.

overall i think it's a pretty good piece anatomy wise. the coloring needs work though.
idk maybe i'll add more later.

anddd i'm working with the character's rights and lefts.

ok here's my piece i want critiqued:
this is my most recent piece. the sketch i feel i did waayyy too fast, so i'm sure there's anatomy errors. i do like how i colored it though.

« Last Edit: June 17, 2008, 07:31:07 AM by Sync »

Offline Morgan

Re: Rip It Apart - A HEAVY Critique Game
«Reply #3: June 17, 2008, 12:24:34 PM»
okay. honestly? this is definitely one of your better, and i might even venture to say, one of your best works. i uh. still notice some things though.

there is no back leg?? unless the character is 3-legged, you completely missed that. at least /some/ of it would show. the muzzle looks entirely wrong to me, and the (our) right eye is too far right. bring it in a bit more. to about that weird muzzle line, lol. you need more value in the front, there are hardly any shadows and it makes it hard to tell the difference with what is what. especially with lightning as your light source, your shadows are going to be darker, because lightning is an intense light, if only for a short period. the front leg (the one closest to the viewer) seems back too far, i don't think the shoulder would be that far back. bring it up a bit.

this could just be a stylistic choice, but why is the ear empty? usually dogs have fluffies in their ears, sooo.




and while i am very proud of this piece, i know there are definitely anatomy flaws, especially in the chest and leg area.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2008, 12:33:32 PM by Morgan »

Offline Jenni

Re: Rip It Apart - A HEAVY Critique Game
«Reply #4: June 17, 2008, 12:34:02 PM»
okay.. it's kind of disproportionate. i saw the reference and frankly it seemed you sort of just based the pose off of it, and not really any of the anatomical pieces. first and foremost, the face. the muzzle seems odd to me, seeing as it seems to be a muzzle simply due to a line from the eye to nose. usually muzzles have a sort of curve near the eye, and move sort of out from there. hers looks really flat, and instead of going out, down. its more of trying to get there to look like a muzzle on a regular face..

the neck seems thick; i cannot tell whether the outside part is a part of the collar or the neck itself. the collar itself looks very stiff, and i know collars to be more relaxed then that. then the left shoulder seems to be missing even if it's going back.. the other arm looks large, thick. the hand seems too large, usually it's about the size of your face. the sword kind of bends with her touch, and i am not sure how it's supposed to be held, but it looks rather awkward, especially with the finger. i'd think it'd be lower down on the handle..

the breasts look flat and sagging. their is no real roundness or compound to their shape, and they seem wide apart. her hips seem not there, .. usually your hips are about the size of your shoulder width. then the legs.. the left leg is very odd to me. the thigh is very round, very fat seeming. the leg is bending in half backwards as if she's hitting her butt, which wouldn't be very comfortable. i'd think the thigh to be thinner, longer, bending forth over the other leg while the foot dangles below, like in the reference you used. the foot on that leg also looks to be chopped off as opposed to be bending back. i'm not sure how the foot would be really, since i don't really run like that. the other leg looks thick, unless you destined for such, but it looks odd with the lack of hips. the foot.. i don't quite understand. yes, it seems to be more animalistic in nature, but the toes are very round and cartoony, and there seems to be three toes?? i believe animals have four.. and their is no dew claw on the back leg, if that is what she has.. and i can't tell if she's standing on those toes or the whole foot part?

as far as the shading goes, it's nice. some parts seem smooth where i think there should be wrinkles, some parts seem awfully bright for such a dark atmosphere. the water spatter affect i don't understand on the lower parts of the body, like such under the tail or on the outside leg, inside leg, and the bent knee.. the rain seems to be going down, and i'd think it's more soak into the clothing than it would be deflected off of it. i don't know...

i tried..


its really shitty so i dont care. LOL
« Last Edit: June 17, 2008, 01:28:46 PM by Jenni »

Offline Tate

Re: Rip It Apart - A HEAVY Critique Game
«Reply #5: June 19, 2008, 06:59:21 PM»


My redlining skills fail in photoshop.

Anyway. My main problem was the legs. I don't have a huge problem with how they were DRAWN (I liked them, actually. They looked nice and smooth. Touchable.), but just how they're positioned. As I state in the redline, the torso suggests something completely opposite of what the legs are doing. I'd expect her legs to be like that if she were, perhaps, leaning against something. My redline doesn't show exactly how the legs should be, though--just a general idea. I think the legs were trying to portray a "shy" sense (since the feet were pointed in), so I tried to make them look shy.

the ears' green confused me for a while. I only now just realized you'd meant for that to be the ridge of them--so maybe add some darker green along the edges to make it absolutely certain, since green is used all over the drawing, and not just as "this is the darker areas/defined", like most people do with foxes and wolves and such. Obviously, I disliked how they were straight up--they could easily be confused with horns with fluff at the bottom, especially since the green didn't really make it completely obvious that that was the ridge, and thus an ear. Also, in a shy pose, if that's what you were going for, perhaps tilted back ears would be a little more fitting.

The head just seemed a bit to tall, and the jaw looked a bit off. I just doodled in the hair--but it can go any way you want, of course.

The tail.. I always have annoyances with furries and how they draw tails coming from their clothes. Though I guess it would be very common for all furry clothing to have slits in the back for their tails, hers just seems like it'd be bothersome to fit through said slit--so I included how it would look if she had the tail under the dress, too.

I'm not really sure as to what else to say, as I like the drawing. (Though I dislike the wings completely and utterly. But it's your choice how to do them, as there is no set way for them, and it looks like you were going for pure stylism with them.

Oh! And, if you get the chance, try looking at the drawing at about seventy percent transparent. It looks really soft and fitting to the mood, then--less bold.

I know there's stuff wrong with THIS one.. xDDD
« Last Edit: June 19, 2008, 10:52:19 PM by Tachs »

Offline lolo

Re: Rip It Apart - A HEAVY Critique Game
«Reply #6: June 20, 2008, 11:27:01 AM»

Stylistacal-lly, it's a cute piece, your doggyman there's got a nice thing going for him.

to rip:
handshandshands. a particular pet peeve of mine is sausage fingers and hands that look too...just plopped on there. dogman's right hand is massive around her hip(?) and his elbow/arm proportion is way too tiny. His other hand...well. Fingers!! The palm and stuff are hidden beneath his jacket sleeve, but you've really got to pay attention if you're going to do any kind of variations on foreshortening, else it looks slapdash.
His hips? Sort of fat. Just the left flank (lol) is bigger, I think, makes me think his body fats' all squished and distending his leg out. Pay attention to groins too, cause that whole Golden mean bullhonk applies there too. Like the length from bellybutton down to the crotch, etc. Makes the fold of the clothes look off too.
Oh. His shoulders too. More sloped would be better, not slumped, just less straight-lined. It looks like you did your body-circle-line layout and just forgot.
Muzzles, I have no fucking clue, but this is cute so we'll skip it.

OKAY moving on to her.
What is she. It's easy to tell she's some kind of gazelle-horned-hooved-ish lady, but the combo of hair-in-face and her schnozz is just kind of distracting. It's important when illustrating a character you get some kind of personality into your drawing, and this just feels really blase and stoic to me.
Now. Her right arm. Muuuuuch too short, much too straight-lined and the hand looks like it's digging into his thigh. Her other arm is like the complete opposite, which is weird. Much too long, it's kind of lumpy around the elbow and looks too limp noodle. That hand there also is just- blocky, kinda gross.
(the hoof-fingertips though, i thought that was a really cute idea)
OK, her chest. Boobs. C'mon. Just a little, prs. It's hard to tell she's very feminine, even if it's how the characters supposed to be. The curve of her chest-muscle pokes out more than the curve of her chest-boob.
Her hips, ummmdfklsdfsd. Looks like an oval and two long ol' sausages and the left one definitely looks tacked on and wayyy too tiny.

Other than that, the hair shading on this is epic and I love the colours, so kudosss~~

okay, this piece is one of my favorite lil things i ever drawed even if it is tiny and scanned poorly.
done in copics and inkss.

« Last Edit: June 20, 2008, 12:35:27 PM by Goldie »
Everyone had got something in hand cept natty dread

Offline Tate

Re: Rip It Apart - A HEAVY Critique Game
«Reply #7: June 20, 2008, 01:08:27 PM»
OKAY moving on to her.

It'sa boyo. x3; Skip me.

Offline lolo

Re: Rip It Apart - A HEAVY Critique Game
«Reply #8: June 20, 2008, 02:00:22 PM»
HO HO HO AND THERE I WAS TALKIN ABOUT TITS N SHIT.
i assumed because the bottom lip was pink and luscious.
i should've known!! this is furcadia.

((skip me, duh))
Everyone had got something in hand cept natty dread

Offline Heimdall

Re: Rip It Apart - A HEAVY Critique Game
«Reply #9: June 26, 2008, 02:29:49 AM»
Okay, this was harder to crit since it's very stylized. It's a great style though and I want to say beforehand that I really like the piece!

The first problem I see here is in her boobal zone. Her shoulders and torso are twisting so her right shoulder is more behind and the left is more towards us, compared to her hips. Which is fine! But her boobs don't match up with that. The right boob should be more up and pulled back towards her shoulder, since boobs often follow what the shoulder's doing. The boobs also look a little bit too low.

The hand grabbing the tie, though it's hard to see because of the black-on-black, looks fudgy. I think it's the thumb, which looks like it's coming out the wrong side of the hand. It looks like she's balling up her fist, so I would expect to see more of a hook to the thumb (but she might be and I can't see). I also can't see the curve where her thumb should be connecting to her palm. And, she's balling up her fist, but the tie is still flat out as if she were grabbing cardboard. I would expect her fingers to be fully scrunching the fabric, so it'd be warped and wrinkled/folded more where it emerges from her hand.

The other hand is in a position that.. I can barely force mine into. However, it looks really nice and stylized, so I'll just point out the awkwardness and move on.

Her crotchmound there I think should be a little closer to her left leg. It's kind of straying off to the side too much. :B Also, it looks like the lengths of her shorts are different on each leg.

Her right side of face looks like it should come up just a tiiiiny bit more since the rest of her head is at a slight angle (not front on). Like this:


Her right horn doesn't match up to the left one. The horns look like they curl back then forward, so you just need to cut the bottom of it off. (See redline above.)

The two little gems on her brow--one's higher than the other. Normally it wouldn't be too big a deal, but because of the tilt to her face, the OTHER one should be the tiniest bit higher.

The locks of hair on the right side of the picture are hanging in front of her shoulder too straight, I think. Since her shoulder's a three dimensional object, I think her hair should flow down over the curve of it a little more.

But I really do think it's cool! :>

--

Here's a link to the piece I want crit on + a couple detail shots. If I'm supposed to post a direct link just let me know and I'll fix! n_n;
http://vorpalmuse.deviantart.com/art/At-Last-Light-83972052
« Last Edit: June 26, 2008, 02:58:20 AM by VORPALMUSE »