turtles
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Author Topic: FAIL ATTEMPT IS FAIL. ;~; [I need redlines/critique.. >>]  (Read 1349 times)

Offline Mae



--edits #1
The amount of fail that generates off this kind of made me laugh. The anatomy is all like.. Fucked up. xD And overall, it's very, very distasteful.


BUT I LIKED THE IDEA? And the idea in my head. And I need money. So I was gonna make it into a premade.
Who wants to help!? D;
« Last Edit: August 24, 2008, 10:37:38 PM by Allison »
fffffffffffff.

 
        

Offline Lord

Re: FAIL ATTEMPT IS FAIL. ;~; [I need redlines/critique.. >>]
«Reply #1: August 24, 2008, 04:14:19 PM»
the only thing i can really help w/ is that i cant see the left leg. then it wont look like its heavily offbalanced

Offline Booker

Re: FAIL ATTEMPT IS FAIL. ;~; [I need redlines/critique.. >>]
«Reply #2: August 24, 2008, 04:35:23 PM»
i dont have anything that i can redline it with right now, but there are a feeew tiny little things that can be fixed.

1. i could be wrong, but her butt is looking a little round and a tad bit fatter than it should be
2. if her butt is purposely large, her thigh should be a little thicker
3. her right armpit (viewer's left) might go up just a liiitle too high.

you may also want to go for just a slightly larger head but idk. to each man his own, i might be wrong

Offline Mae

Re: FAIL ATTEMPT IS FAIL. ;~; [I need redlines/critique.. >>]
«Reply #3: August 24, 2008, 05:55:08 PM»
MY MILKSHAKE BRIN--

Thanks for the help. xD Mostly the stuff I noticed, but when I tried to fix, it didn't look right. I SHALL TRY AGAIN.
fffffffffffff.

Offline Mae

Re: FAIL ATTEMPT IS FAIL. ;~; [I need redlines/critique.. >>]
«Reply #4: August 24, 2008, 10:39:19 PM»
i made edits.


more help plsu?
fffffffffffff.

Offline Sierra

Re: FAIL ATTEMPT IS FAIL. ;~; [I need redlines/critique.. >>]
«Reply #5: August 25, 2008, 09:15:59 AM»
I really like the edited one, I think the body looks more proportional. I think the left leg still looks kinda wonky, but if that was to be fixed, I think it would sell. I would buy it at least x3.

Sesruc

Re: FAIL ATTEMPT IS FAIL. ;~; [I need redlines/critique.. >>]
«Reply #6: August 25, 2008, 10:10:31 AM»
nice edits!

though from her position, i don't think there should be that big a gap between her butt and feet. since that only makes her unbalanced because i can tell that one of her hands is touching the floor.. but the other could be on her thigh or between her thighs though definitely not on the floor.



and http://www.posemaniacs.com/?p=103 which is a very similar pose
« Last Edit: August 25, 2008, 10:12:56 AM by Sesruc »

Offline sarragh

Re: FAIL ATTEMPT IS FAIL. ;~; [I need redlines/critique.. >>]
«Reply #7: August 25, 2008, 12:07:29 PM»
Unless her thighs and calves are obese, I think there would be a gap. She's leaning forward. I personally think that maybe her torso is too long, but I can't back that up with any redlines or refs or even logical edits because I've never seen that kind of pose before. It's a little unnatural to me, since I've never seen it. Try looking in the mirror maybe? That might help a lot. Every time la and I try it our backs go up, not down, and I'm sure that's not the sexy pose you want.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2008, 12:10:13 PM by Cletus »

Offline Hugo

Re: FAIL ATTEMPT IS FAIL. ;~; [I need redlines/critique.. >>]
«Reply #8: August 25, 2008, 12:29:25 PM»
I redlined the whole thing and then x'ed out of it by error. I was almost helpful.

Offline Azula

Re: FAIL ATTEMPT IS FAIL. ;~; [I need redlines/critique.. >>]
«Reply #9: August 25, 2008, 01:45:45 PM»
if her body wasnt curved up and twisting like that, and leaning a bit forward maybe with no ass in the air, i could see where the gap would be. but where this is, it seems unnatural..

Offline Lovedoll

Re: FAIL ATTEMPT IS FAIL. ;~; [I need redlines/critique.. >>]
«Reply #10: August 29, 2008, 06:04:45 PM»
The crease from her belly to the thigh starts too low. The upper thigh is thick and shapes smaller towards the knee. By having the crease that low, it looks like the thigh is attached by only a small bit to her body, then shapes out wide. It makes it look awkward.

The curve of her back is too sharp. Her torso is twisted to make her hips raised into the air. It basically just sticks too far back, giving the impression her torso is too long. With her upper torso turned towards the viewer, you should be able to see the other hip as well.



Hope that helps!

 

anything