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Author Topic: New port! Better breasts?  (Read 1321 times)

Offline Sebbi

New port! Better breasts?
«: July 15, 2009, 11:06:53 PM»


HOKAY. Ground out another one.

I can already say the size of the port itself is not to my immediate liking. The centered character is enormously small.
D:
But...those things are easily fixed. I just need to thunderspank myself into using alllllll of my space.

Price and critiques are welcome!

...and remember, I thrive off of kind, constructive criticism. If you feel you can not offer that, keep your comments to yourself. :3

 
        

Offline Hugo

Re: New port! Better breasts?
«Reply #1: July 16, 2009, 10:30:57 AM»
The pose is nice and all, but the curve of the head makes it look like she should be looking forward.

I may try to do a redline.

EDIT: here we go.

I accidentally carpet-bombed the face, but you can see the angle I was talking about. There are also some tweaks you can make to the body like adding some curves and adjusting the length of her elbow so the bones make sense.
« Last Edit: July 16, 2009, 10:37:57 AM by Hugo »

Offline Sabaton

Re: New port! Better breasts?
«Reply #2: July 16, 2009, 11:24:23 AM»
Personally i feel like the gaping outline kinda draws the eye away from the character itself.
Other than that and what Hugo pointed out, it looks fine~
Sarcasm is the body's natural defense against stupid.


Offline Suzy

Re: New port! Better breasts?
«Reply #3: July 16, 2009, 03:19:43 PM»
That giant aura-like outline is too distracting.

IPGD

Re: New port! Better breasts?
«Reply #4: July 16, 2009, 04:04:02 PM»
I find holding your arm behind your back like that is a pretty uncomfortable position. There's no reason to put it there unless you are deliberately trying to hide the hand, which is a bad habit I suggest you break if you'd like to be able to draw figures in any position that doesn't conveniently shroud the hands from view. Same deal with the three finger thing -- you can excuse it with "style" but the only reason to do it is because drawing three fingers is easier than four.

The other arm is gimped. The upper arm would have to be about half as long as it should be to fit into that position. The hand and forearm look sort of like one of those handheld fans, and now that I've made this connection, I can't seem to register it as an actual hand anymore.

The expression is sort of vacant and unfocused. The right cheek seems a little too wide compared to the left. Her hair appears to be tucked behind something, but without human ears or some sort of clip, I don't see how. Her actual ears are also not in alignment with the angle of her head; the left ear is almost on the center of her skull while the other is attached to the back and side. The hair seems to be pasted on top of the ears with no consideration to where they actually attach to the skull (pretty far back, from what this is suggesting).

I also don't like the massive aura thing. I'm not sure what is even going on in the background. I see you were trying to do a split composition behind the figure but it doesn't translate very well. On the right side, the colors are poorly balanced and the star thing blends in with the massive aura in several of the remaps. I can actually tell what's going on in the left side of the picture, but I have no idea how it relates to the right side, and there's so little contrast between the dominant colors of it that it didn't immediately register that they weren't supposed to be a part of a continuous shot. The green grass stands out like a sore thumb, especially when it has nothing to balance or complement it on either side.

Both sides as a whole are also very busy in relation to the focal point. There's almost as much detail in the grass and star dot things as there is in the figure, and with a palette that does not allow you to blur or control saturation, this creates a poorly distributed composition. My eye doesn't focus on the intended focal point, the figure; instead, it immediately goes to the patch of grass. In the darker remap shades, I have trouble even making out more than the silhouette of the form without looking back at the big blob of green in the corner.

Because the figure is rather small with a lot of concentrated detail, I would suggest using a more simplistic background. A gradient or pattern would be easy to implement and would not detract from the figure as much.
« Last Edit: July 16, 2009, 04:05:43 PM by Matter »

IPGD

Re: New port! Better breasts?
«Reply #5: July 16, 2009, 05:05:36 PM»
I meant more like one of these things...

Now that I actually bothered to look at one I guess the resemblance wasn't as great as I thought it was.

Offline Suzy

Re: New port! Better breasts?
«Reply #6: July 16, 2009, 06:35:47 PM»
I can see what Matter means with the fan thing. I think what they were trying to do with that hand is have her index finger poking her cheek near the corner of her mouth in that oh-so-coy way.

As for the hips, when I look at the image, I definitely don't see that little bump where the hips begin. At first, I had thought that her hips were just tiny, like mine. I suppose that doesn't quite fit the character, though.

Off topic, tessen are awesome.

Offline Sebbi

Re: New port! Better breasts?
«Reply #7: July 16, 2009, 09:20:50 PM»
Alright, so I got the boobs. SCORE ONE.
Now for the shitty angles...
I guess I didn't translate my own pose and/or I can just bend all of my joints at creepy angles.
And yeah, the pixels did kind of ruin the hand, but again, I didn't make the actual art big enough so it translated super small. Phail D:

I see the hip problem. It's so weird because I used to draw curves, curves, curves, then I drew Sebbi and now I'm like, "Curves, WAT R DOS?"

Alright. I think instead of editing this with all of the problems I'm going to make another one with all of this in mind.

I'll kill off the aura thing. It was experimental anyway.

And...omg thank you all. You all rock and are really helping me out.